Days went by and I just realized that since I quit my job as
a “part-time shoulder to cried on”, no distraction coming along the way. It’s
obviously the thing I look for in life since I was a bit off the track, a year
back then.
Over time I realized that now it’s so important to reconnect
myself with me and to keep walking regardless of what would happen.
I was talking to a friend of mine, who technically quit his
job as “part-time shoulder to cry on” as well. We both agreed to be more disciplined
and not easily heading back to the point where our heart hurts the most.
When you had someone who shared the similarity and been
through the same path of life as you did, the decision making is a bit of
wiser. Although the principle of decision is always on both of your hands, but one
thing that all of us need to endeavor is to learn to make good, quick and
accurate decisions.
There’s a time where I starred at mirror, I saw an image of
man crying over the fact that he was lost. Lost in translation. The man who
looked graceful in the eyes and once said he would never sweat the small stuff.
But somehow, what do I expect to be? Look at where I was, why am I here? Where
have all the passions gone? Could I still see myself beneath all the
superficial things I’m dealing with now?
I had to face the fact that I suck being a boyfriend to my
ex. I don’t play well, I tried too hard, my sense of care went downhill and my
focus was all scattered. I looked at myself in the mirror once again, and I
asked myself. I was devastated by the fact that I have been lost along the way.
Along the way of trying to find myself, I came to dead end.
But then again, after all the things I’ve been through, after
all the heartaches, after being lost in a world of lost people, I found myself with
goose bumps, in front of my laptops writing and keep on writing.
The thing I’ve learned, jangan berhenti berjalan.
