Thursday, February 11, 2016

Back from the dead

Right this very moment, my buddies and I are sitting at Starbucks with only one drink . One drink for me and the others didn’t dare to buy coffee since we just had an expensive Italian dinner earlier.
Why am I here? Because I don’t have internet connection at home anymore. My neighborhood area does not have any available port on the wireless connection, hence I'm stuck using my mobile data.
Starbucks, any Starbucks always make me nervous. I don’t know why. When asking for drinks, I’m scared I would say the wrong things, spill the coffee or even trip on my imaginary.

Why do people need to drink fancy named coffee’s anyway? I thought. But then again, why do I like drinking fancy named coffee? Even if it tastes like shit, I would still order because the names sound so tempting. Who wouldn’t want it?
It’s something about me and drinks. I don’t drink while I eat but I still order because everyone has a drink and I tend to order eventhough I will only drink it when the ice has melted.
I don’t know much about coffee to be honest but I loved them, still do. But I was not brought up in a house where drinking coffee on daily basis was normal. All I know is that I love Cappuccino , Caramel latte and Mocha. Maybe those are the only drinks that I knew.

Normally, when a guy moved to another dimension of his life, he will dream of the good times he will have with his bunch of friends, family and also with his gf..
Me, on the other hand, was excited to know that there's no particular person wanted to come to my heart and I had the good times for myself and do my stuff. But as time goes by, I realized I needed someone to fulfill my empty heart considering the fact that I never have someone that I can call 'the other half'.

Last few months, in an attempt to replace the empty heart that I had since ever, I have been asking myself if I'm ready enough to convert my life to something that I never imagine. Anyone around me was so excited that I finally making a changes - life changing experiences I would say.

As hard was it to believe I was ready to declare, it was even harder for me to believe that I actually wanted someone out of nowhere. I’ve had many experiences with people with different background and attitude but this one hit me like a big stone!

What most people don’t know is that, I’m a very loving person. I may appear like a typical arrogant guy but I could also be the most loving boyfriend ever. I love to travel since the world is too big to be explored. I don't eat expensive food and had a good relationship with my family, even sometimes we fought over stupid politician in Malaysia. When I love someone or something, I give them my 100%.

What people also don’t know is that whatever plan,thoughts or whatever that I've planned..will faded eventually. People say I’m cursed. I don’t believe so eventhough the cardio machine I just bought at lazada few months ago is dying dramatically by the side of my bed as I’m writing now. Maybe this one is different. I believe that person could increase my happiness level by 100% :)

But time has traveled itself to a darker side. Sad. Heart breaking to know the feedback.

I admit, I judged. And then God said "you judged so I give you a lil something". He gave me something alright.

I then had to jump once again onto my time travel machine to try to remember how I was back then when I was all alone.

Moving on from a from a person does not mean anything unless you really are happy at where you are, who you're with and not for a second you ever wish to be back there.

InsyaAllah :)